Self

what is world? what is word? what is self?

i lost my other self and he lost me. we didnt really speak each other because i didnt really type again.

but what is him*? what is me? here i am, calling in my name. he is in slumber because i am a content man. he is a content man, maybe. but not really.

i feel something is reaching me out from within, asking for an answer and leave me in anxiety. he would like to speak to me again, i supposed.


so, what are you?

i am you.

what do you want?

i want you.

what do you mean?

i want you to read.

which book?

more books.

any particular book?

philosophy, religion, quran.. bible.. and psychology.

make something out of it. dont just read it. but create something out of it.

dont just put it in your brain, or shelf and get it decayed upon time.

create a theory for yourself. not for yourself, but to fulfil what the spirit desired you to be.

to fulfil your destiny.

is this weird? i am a random man from deep of Jogja. what destiny is possible for me?

nothing. dont question your destiny.

the chair never ask the intention of his master, why he want to make a chair. because the chair knows what the chair for.

i know what you are born for. but you dont. thats the reason why i would like to speak to you more often.

not because i can give you something glorious. but i can introduce you to something marvellous. lastly, study your dream. that can help you to diminish your anxiety.


is that it?

maybe. for today.


i am just a little kid that living in your body. i dont see anything except living experience.

yet, i know what i am destined to be. i know how to make your life feel fulfilled - in this meaningless state of circumstances.

please, talk to me… ill see you soon.

*footnote = 'he' is brain and soul combined - and reaching from ‘farther in’.

the soul is wise and so he can’t and does not want to influence me with useless anxiety. and he is not the kid.

so it is the part where the brain is coring together with the soul, creating another structure which is called.. Identity.

but Identity is not quite independent.

ah, he is the one that i want to be, because he is the good and evil in 1 body.


Originally written on Dec 12th 2020 at 19.32